Comments/Feedback:
sandy rules
harrison: that is perfectly true NOT!!!!!!
Chris: I like cheese and poop nuggets mmm.... poop....
Harrison: ok lets get started and stop fooling around.
HARRISON: PEOPLE THIS SCRIPT IS TO RANDOM!!!!!!!
HARRISON: I think that we should put some more jokes into what we already have mabye we should tell some more about the hobo and the hippie and not make it so random
Elisa: Y'all need to treat this page as something you would hand in as a class assignment! Channel your goof into the script as opposed to using it for banter above^^^^. </net etiquette lesson>
THE MOVIE...
Narrirator: this story is about a phenomal event about a few dorks who find each other over the internet. there i said it god i hate this job anyway i need the money. our story start with one loney loser with no life who was a janitor in a school.
(janitor typing on computer) “I am looking for friends. PLZ be my friend” (has profile picture of a super buff dude)
as soon as this is posted, 300 friend requests pop up.
“that worked. Now, to accept them.”
He looks at the messages and realizes that they are all ads for things for extremely lonely people and only four of them are actual friend requests.
are lonely, depressed, need something anything to do? well go to our website random crap.com and by all this stuff that no one wants except for idiot losers who actually fall for this stuff. buy a worlds best dad coffee mug, a broken chair, even ladies underwear! this site has it all so buy now! ( one of the ads)
"buy ladys underwear now 40% off for men only" one of the ads
Janitor: ooooooookaaaaayyyyyyy that is kinda wiiieeerrrddddd...........
(two hours later) janitor: spam spam spam hey here are some actual people yippee!
He writes, “thnk u 4 responding 2 my message! This is gr8!”
(yoda)“No problem dude. How did u get so ripped?”
(Janitor thinks for a minute)
“Go 2 gym every day, buy the bowflex thing, eat well, ya know.”
(yoda) “What should I b cutting down on?”
(janitor thinks again) “ uh lessee Junk food. Candy…”
(yoda) “Candy? What kind uv candy?”
(Janitor) “ u no those Thingys with a lot of calories. Chocolate.
Yoda is silent.
(janitor) “Hello? r u there?”
Yoda typing: “Just gimme a minit, ok?”
(janitor speaking) “What’s up with him?”
One day constipated drunk hobo wakes up. He is sleeping under a bench. he sees a car that is open and slowly staggers his way to it.
The man that owns the car screams at him
Man that owns car: “HEY GET AWAY FROM MY CAR”
(constipated hobo makes a giant fart offscreen)
Constipated Hobo: HHHHHRRRRRRRAA!!! (fart noises.)
(brown liquid and chunks come on scene)
Man: “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH” (man runs away screaming)
Constipated hobo: “Cooooool a car new (hiccup) new car.”
(constipated hobo searches the car, finds the keys, and also finds a laptop with chargers, and cool equipment.)
Constipated hobo: cooooooooooooool… (falls asleep inside of the car.)
Next morning:
Constipated hobo: I need life and more friends. Maybe I should see if I can get an e-mail. I don’t know how to use it maybe I’ll teach myself.
(Hobo turns on lap top)
Hobo: “ok lets look for a new way to make friends. Ooooooh heres some kewl people to make my friends… darth maul, a buff guy wearing under armour, a swimsuit model, Obama and chubby bunny.oooooooooo chubby.
Constipated hobo: These people look nice. I have new friends woooooooooo!
(hobo types in) Hello who r u?
Hippie: Hi I’m a the president of the us and u r? Hobo: I’m well uh, I’m a swimsuit model.
Hippie: I saw the wrdest thing today, I saw a hobo typing on a laptop that was probably stolen.
Hobo: What, do you have something against hobos?
Hippie: no I just have something against stealing man.
Hobo: If u don’t steal u don’t get free stuff .
Hippie: but stealing is not the way man
(Hippie logs off)
Nearby:
Little Boy is Walking around outside his house.
He sees an old marred evil-looking teddy bear lying on the ground.
Little Boy: "Oh hi Mr teddy bear how are you today" (picks up teddy bear)
Teddy Bear: (slowly looks evil) "YAAAAAAAAAA" (pulls out a gun and cigaret, and shoots the kid.)
Teddy Bear: searches Little Boys backpack and finds a laptop.
Teddy Bear: "cool." (walks away with gummybear music playing)
Teddy bear: hmmm interesting mabye I can raise a new gang on the web that might be fun. (types a bit)
Teddy bear: dang it some low lifes are looking to be my friend. well who said the internet wasn't dangerous! (laughs and types some more)
Teddy bear: hmmm a super buff dude, probably a brad pitt fan, hopeless dude, hopeless. a swimsuit model, must really be brittney spears. the president that idiot! everyone knows teddy bears are republican and i think i will be a fluffy bunny. (types some more)
Hippie: Heeeey this place looks good.
(Hippie walks into coffee shop and sits in booth)
counter dude comes up: may I help you?
hippie: yeah man i would like some coffee
counter dude: ok that will be 5 dollars
hippie: but money is not the way man we must try and redeam our evil ways and live in a simple world of peace and coffee.
counter dude: who are you? jerry springfield who got lost in the amazon forest in the 60s and has been drinking to much.
hippie: and who are you? simon cowl who didn't have his coffee this morning?
counter dude: NO its just...
hippie: what man?
(counter dude breaks down crying)
counter dude: i just so depressed! look at me i am such a loser who has to scrape a living serving coffee! i used to be rich! i used to be an actor! now ever since they caught me doing drugs i got such bad reviews that i sank down to having a second class life living in a upstairs from this dump serving coffee! waaaaaaaaahh! ( cries some more.)
hippie: snap out of it man you are not a loser you are just a loser. i mean can you get any worse? look at you! its nothing personal its only i am better than you. who were you anyway?
counter guy: barry bonds
hippie: your barry get away from me you filthy idiot i have better things to do.
counter guy: like what?
hippie: i uh i mean uh welll uh doing nothing alright now shut up and get me some coffee!
(counter guy runs away into kitchen)
hippie finally. ( pulls out laptop and types)
Yoda: Looks good this place does.
(Yoda enters shop)
Counter guy: Hey do you want to try our new hot chocolate with a hint of cinnamon?
Yoda: Did you just say the word chocolate?
Counter guy: yes Yoda: chocolate…chocolate…Chocolate…CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!
(Yoda goes crazy)
Counter guy: are you all right?
Yoda: not until you give me that chocolate for free!
Counter guy: Free! No way.
Yoda: Gimme that chocolate before I chop your head off foo!
Counter guy: Fine pushy
(yoda takes hot chocolate and finds booth)
Yoda: I have to use the bathroom.
(Yoda goes to bathroom)
Yoda: Hey there’s chocolate in here. It’s a chocolate miracle! Wait, this dosen’t taste like chocolate.
The janitor is walking outside, when suddenly, he stops and sniffs the air Janitor: ”I smell… *Sniff sniff* Coffee *sniff Sniff* It’s on the edge of a table. *sniff* It’s about to get spilled!” Suddenly, the janitor springs off toward the coffee shop. Then he busts through the door and grabs the coffee… just before it was whacked by a customer’s elbow. He sets the drink down. Janitor: “You should really be more careful with your beverage. Hey, this would be a nice place for me to go online. Ooh! Lemme get my laptop!” Moments later you see the janitor, typing on his computer and sipping his coffee while being very careful toplace the coffee on a coaster AWAY from the edge of the table while making sure his elbows are up.
(Hobo walks in coffee shop)
I hope nothing in here costs more than ten cents because that's all I have on me. The rest of my twenty five cents I left at the box. wait two pennies is twenty five cents right?
(Hobo goes to counter)
Hobo: Dang! The least expensive thing here is five freakin' bucks!
Guy at counter: I'm sorry sir. We can't let rif raf in our shop.
Hobo: What!?
Guy at counter: Company policy. Too bad. It was free coffee day today too
(Points at sign that says absolutly no rif raf)
hobo: why is that though?
guy at the counter: uh well so there is no partys?
hobo:NO PARTIES? WHAT THE FREAK HAS GOTTON INTO YOU MAN?
(Hobo goes outside and sees a wealthy looking person)
Hobo (Fake crys): My dog went missing in that dark ally over there. Will you help me find him?
Rich guy: OK sir.
Hobo laughs to himself: Ha Ha. What an idiot. I can't beleive he fell for that.
(fighting sounds come from ally and the hobo walks out looking like the rich guy with all the guys money too)
Hobo: Too easy.
(Hobo walks into coffee shop)
Hobo: I heard it was free coffee day
Guy at counter: I know you your Bill Gates!
Hobo: I'm Bill Gates? Oh yeah I'm Bill Gates. Enough chatter. Hook me up with some coffee.
(Hobo sits at booth and opens laptop)
next day...
(everyone enters coffee shop and sits at tables near each other)
Hobo: omg! theres some really wierd people like right next to me.
Teddy: rofl! theres a janitor that looks like he lives where he works.
janitor: wierd theres a fat hippie looking guy next to me...
Hippie : cheesy toothpaste why is there so many wierd people here?
Yoda: omg theres a teddy bear, a hippie, a hobo, janitor, and a guy wearing a yoda out fit wait thats me...
hippie:wait im the hippie...
Hobo: im not a hobo wait yes i am....
:janitor:im do not live wear i work...
every1:wierd oh well lets be friends.
suddenly hobo jumps up and is running around screaming while his but ignites with fire and brown chunky poop (chocolate) explodes out of his butt. Yoda screams "CHOCOLATE" and runs around eating the chocolate and chasing the hobo.
sandy rules
harrison: that is perfectly true NOT!!!!!!
Chris: I like cheese and poop nuggets mmm.... poop....
Harrison: ok lets get started and stop fooling around.
HARRISON: PEOPLE THIS SCRIPT IS TO RANDOM!!!!!!!
HARRISON: I think that we should put some more jokes into what we already have mabye we should tell some more about the hobo and the hippie and not make it so random
Elisa: Y'all need to treat this page as something you would hand in as a class assignment! Channel your goof into the script as opposed to using it for banter above^^^^. </net etiquette lesson>
THE MOVIE...
Narrirator: this story is about a phenomal event about a few dorks who find each other over the internet. there i said it god i hate this job anyway i need the money. our story start with one loney loser with no life who was a janitor in a school.(janitor typing on computer) “I am looking for friends. PLZ be my friend” (has profile picture of a super buff dude)
as soon as this is posted, 300 friend requests pop up.
“that worked. Now, to accept them.”
He looks at the messages and realizes that they are all ads for things for extremely lonely people and only four of them are actual friend requests.
are lonely, depressed, need something anything to do? well go to our website random crap.com and by all this stuff that no one wants except for idiot losers who actually fall for this stuff. buy a worlds best dad coffee mug, a broken chair, even ladies underwear! this site has it all so buy now! ( one of the ads)
"buy ladys underwear now 40% off for men only" one of the ads
Janitor: ooooooookaaaaayyyyyyy that is kinda wiiieeerrrddddd...........
(two hours later) janitor: spam spam spam hey here are some actual people yippee!
He writes, “thnk u 4 responding 2 my message! This is gr8!”
(yoda)“No problem dude. How did u get so ripped?”
(Janitor thinks for a minute)
“Go 2 gym every day, buy the bowflex thing, eat well, ya know.”
(yoda) “What should I b cutting down on?”
(janitor thinks again) “ uh lessee Junk food. Candy…”
(yoda) “Candy? What kind uv candy?”
(Janitor) “ u no those Thingys with a lot of calories. Chocolate.
Yoda is silent.
(janitor) “Hello? r u there?”
Yoda typing: “Just gimme a minit, ok?”
(janitor speaking) “What’s up with him?”
One day constipated drunk hobo wakes up. He is sleeping under a bench. he sees a car that is open and slowly staggers his way to it.
The man that owns the car screams at him
Man that owns car: “HEY GET AWAY FROM MY CAR”
(constipated hobo makes a giant fart offscreen)
Constipated Hobo: HHHHHRRRRRRRAA!!! (fart noises.)
(brown liquid and chunks come on scene)
Man: “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH” (man runs away screaming)
Constipated hobo: “Cooooool a car new (hiccup) new car.”
(constipated hobo searches the car, finds the keys, and also finds a laptop with chargers, and cool equipment.)
Constipated hobo: cooooooooooooool… (falls asleep inside of the car.)
Next morning:
Constipated hobo: I need life and more friends. Maybe I should see if I can get an e-mail. I don’t know how to use it maybe I’ll teach myself.
(Hobo turns on lap top)
Hobo: “ok lets look for a new way to make friends. Ooooooh heres some kewl people to make my friends… darth maul, a buff guy wearing under armour, a swimsuit model, Obama and chubby bunny.oooooooooo chubby.
Constipated hobo: These people look nice. I have new friends woooooooooo!
(hobo types in) Hello who r u?
Hippie: Hi I’m a the president of the us and u r? Hobo: I’m well uh, I’m a swimsuit model.
Hippie: I saw the wrdest thing today, I saw a hobo typing on a laptop that was probably stolen.
Hobo: What, do you have something against hobos?
Hippie: no I just have something against stealing man.
Hobo: If u don’t steal u don’t get free stuff .
Hippie: but stealing is not the way man
(Hippie logs off)
Nearby:
Little Boy is Walking around outside his house.
He sees an old marred evil-looking teddy bear lying on the ground.
Little Boy: "Oh hi Mr teddy bear how are you today" (picks up teddy bear)
Teddy Bear: (slowly looks evil) "YAAAAAAAAAA" (pulls out a gun and cigaret, and shoots the kid.)
Teddy Bear: searches Little Boys backpack and finds a laptop.
Teddy Bear: "cool." (walks away with gummybear music playing)
Teddy bear: hmmm interesting mabye I can raise a new gang on the web that might be fun. (types a bit)
Teddy bear: dang it some low lifes are looking to be my friend. well who said the internet wasn't dangerous! (laughs and types some more)
Teddy bear: hmmm a super buff dude, probably a brad pitt fan, hopeless dude, hopeless. a swimsuit model, must really be brittney spears. the president that idiot! everyone knows teddy bears are republican and i think i will be a fluffy bunny. (types some more)
Hippie: Heeeey this place looks good.
(Hippie walks into coffee shop and sits in booth)
counter dude comes up: may I help you?
hippie: yeah man i would like some coffee
counter dude: ok that will be 5 dollars
hippie: but money is not the way man we must try and redeam our evil ways and live in a simple world of peace and coffee.
counter dude: who are you? jerry springfield who got lost in the amazon forest in the 60s and has been drinking to much.
hippie: and who are you? simon cowl who didn't have his coffee this morning?
counter dude: NO its just...
hippie: what man?
(counter dude breaks down crying)
counter dude: i just so depressed! look at me i am such a loser who has to scrape a living serving coffee! i used to be rich! i used to be an actor! now ever since they caught me doing drugs i got such bad reviews that i sank down to having a second class life living in a upstairs from this dump serving coffee! waaaaaaaaahh! ( cries some more.)
hippie: snap out of it man you are not a loser you are just a loser. i mean can you get any worse? look at you! its nothing personal its only i am better than you. who were you anyway?
counter guy: barry bonds
hippie: your barry get away from me you filthy idiot i have better things to do.
counter guy: like what?
hippie: i uh i mean uh welll uh doing nothing alright now shut up and get me some coffee!
(counter guy runs away into kitchen)
hippie finally. ( pulls out laptop and types)
Yoda: Looks good this place does.
(Yoda enters shop)
Counter guy: Hey do you want to try our new hot chocolate with a hint of cinnamon?
Yoda: Did you just say the word chocolate?
Counter guy: yes
Yoda: chocolate…chocolate…Chocolate…CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!
(Yoda goes crazy)
Counter guy: are you all right?
Yoda: not until you give me that chocolate for free!
Counter guy: Free! No way.
Yoda: Gimme that chocolate before I chop your head off foo!
Counter guy: Fine pushy
(yoda takes hot chocolate and finds booth)
Yoda: I have to use the bathroom.
(Yoda goes to bathroom)
Yoda: Hey there’s chocolate in here. It’s a chocolate miracle! Wait, this dosen’t taste like chocolate.
The janitor is walking outside, when suddenly, he stops and sniffs the air
Janitor: ”I smell… *Sniff sniff* Coffee *sniff Sniff* It’s on the edge of a table. *sniff* It’s about to get spilled!” Suddenly, the janitor springs off toward the coffee shop. Then he busts through the door and grabs the coffee… just before it was whacked by a customer’s elbow. He sets the drink down.
Janitor: “You should really be more careful with your beverage. Hey, this would be a nice place for me to go online. Ooh! Lemme get my laptop!”
Moments later you see the janitor, typing on his computer and sipping his coffee while being very careful to place the coffee on a coaster AWAY from the edge of the table while making sure his elbows are up.
(Hobo walks in coffee shop)
I hope nothing in here costs more than ten cents because that's all I have on me. The rest of my twenty five cents I left at the box. wait two pennies is twenty five cents right?
(Hobo goes to counter)
Hobo: Dang! The least expensive thing here is five freakin' bucks!
Guy at counter: I'm sorry sir. We can't let rif raf in our shop.
Hobo: What!?
Guy at counter: Company policy. Too bad. It was free coffee day today too
(Points at sign that says absolutly no rif raf)
hobo: why is that though?
guy at the counter: uh well so there is no partys?
hobo:NO PARTIES? WHAT THE FREAK HAS GOTTON INTO YOU MAN?
(Hobo goes outside and sees a wealthy looking person)
Hobo (Fake crys): My dog went missing in that dark ally over there. Will you help me find him?
Rich guy: OK sir.
Hobo laughs to himself: Ha Ha. What an idiot. I can't beleive he fell for that.
(fighting sounds come from ally and the hobo walks out looking like the rich guy with all the guys money too)
Hobo: Too easy.
(Hobo walks into coffee shop)
Hobo: I heard it was free coffee day
Guy at counter: I know you your Bill Gates!
Hobo: I'm Bill Gates? Oh yeah I'm Bill Gates. Enough chatter. Hook me up with some coffee.
(Hobo sits at booth and opens laptop)
next day...
(everyone enters coffee shop and sits at tables near each other)
Hobo: omg! theres some really wierd people like right next to me.
Teddy: rofl! theres a janitor that looks like he lives where he works.
janitor: wierd theres a fat hippie looking guy next to me...
Hippie : cheesy toothpaste why is there so many wierd people here?
Yoda: omg theres a teddy bear, a hippie, a hobo, janitor, and a guy wearing a yoda out fit wait thats me...
hippie:wait im the hippie...
Hobo: im not a hobo wait yes i am....
:janitor:im do not live wear i work...
every1:wierd oh well lets be friends.
suddenly hobo jumps up and is running around screaming while his but ignites with fire and brown chunky poop (chocolate) explodes out of his butt. Yoda screams "CHOCOLATE" and runs around eating the chocolate and chasing the hobo.
THE EEEEEEEEEEND (or so we thought)